I LOVE YOU..

Ghosts - No.
Darkness - No. 
I fear not the usual. What I fear has a story , something I'm what I'm because of it today. 
2007 , 3 years ago. 
Life was good. Everything I wanted , moreover everyone I wanted. 
People I loved , people I bore in my heart. Everybody walked along with me in the path of life , never had I even imagined a day when I would lose any of them. 
But death controls life is what we all know. I lost a huge piece of my life , my heart and my soul on that day. Endless tears , darkened soul , diminished lights , falling hope , losing optimism i simply lost someone who was and is still dear to me , more than my life. A flashback of memories , they played in my mind like a slide show. every moment I lived and never thought would value made me cry harder. What I lost was not just a dear one , but a major part of my life. For I drowned in my own pool of tears and lost ties with hope. For never did I think I can love somebody again this much. A year passed , I wasn't okay still. Condition worsened , Cuts on my skin were normal. Sleepless nights were the usual. Crying when alone , well that became more of a habit. Deep within I knew this wasn't right. I took decisions I shouldn't have . One of it being - never to love somebody again , NEVER. 
For love of any sought gave only pains .. for he was my guiding light , for he was my guardian angel , for he was my world. And I saw my world fall apart in front of me.. 
Love was a big deal , I decided not to get close to anyone. ANYONE.
I started loosening up ties with people.
Started drawing apart . 
I wanted to go as far as possible.
Death ruled my every thought.. I was scared of loving. Loving somebody again. For this fall for me was hard.
Time passed by , I was on medical treatments. I started talking to people. Made friends . But not the ones I was really emotionally attached with , neither was I ready for it. 
I made an exception for you. 
Don't know how. We just talked. You understood me better than I understood myself. We just sat down together occasionally , you helped me rise back again , you started building a place for yourself in my heart , unknowingly I let you do so. you broke down the walls I had built to keep people out . 
Much later was it when I realized I love you. I didn't know how to react. For was it good to be close to someone again. After almost 2 years. Was I ready ? Was all this okay?
Answers to these questions were never found then. 
You have ever since been the apple of my eye.
You've never since then let me down.
You've never let me go back to my past.
You've always held me upright when I feel weak.
You've always held my hand when I needed guidance.
Now what I fear is LOSING YOU.
For it was because of you , I got back to normal.
I started talking to other people.
I let people in my heart once again. 
I talked to them. They talked to me ( It was a big deal then , with such a condition ).
You gave me my usual life back. 
I've so many close ones and dear ones now.
All I'm afraid of is now , LOSING THEM.
I don't know how to thank you. Never have I talked to you about this. 
But I want to dedicate this post to you. 
For you had that magic in your words and could capture my mind.
For you have a true heart that captured mine.
For you have a captivating soul that I fell for. 
Basically, for you are YOU.

I own a separate cosmos of which , I'm the controller!

Another post! Just because I believe every writer has his own world. Of which he is the owner, of which he is the controller, of which he is the leader and of course, of which he is the writer! A writer believes in the might of the pen, a writer believes in himself, for him what he writes - happens! and what happens is what he wrote.


We've often heard the pen is mightier than the sword, true it is, a pen can plead, a pen can apologize, a pen can teach , a pen can express, a pen can change a person but a sword- it will JUST kill a person..!

The might of words can change a criminal to a saint but the point of a sword may reciprocate the situation. For a writer his writing are the world , he lives in them , studies them , writes them , owns them , leads them and thus is happy ONLY in them, a writer finds it hard to adjust in the real world , because he has created a totally different aspect of life forms in his writing and he believes and wishes to live in them forever. A writer seeks pleasure in writing, a true writer is the last person who's ready to show off his work , a writer writes what happens, a writer writes what happened, a writer writes the smallest pleasure he received , the smallest sorrow he bestowed , he writes when he is thankful , he writes when gloomy, he writes when he is happy ,he writes when he's muddles , he writes when he is shattered , in short- he writes in all forms of countenances !

He has this own cosmos of his own which he is the controller, he treats books as his best friend, he seeks peace in the words , which are words of boredom for millions! he seeks his life in those few pages  he seeks pleasure and happiness in those alphabets that flash in front of his eyes, he likes the ink blots, because they symbolize thinking..he likes the calligraphic form because it symbolizes beauty , he likes to run his hands down those fresh smelling pages, they symbolize his experience. A writer admires those small little things which the world leaves untouched and unnoticed  , which the world might disgust but the writer may praise. A writer has a third eye which re-creates his ideas and let's him see this world as something which the other mortals don't , a writer has a soul that of knowledge , a heart that of love and passion for alphabets , a mind that of ideas and thoughts and a hand that holds the pen forever, which is mightier than the sword!

Life is not just a walk, but a walk to remember!

Walking ,

we walk alone , when the world turn around , we walk by a friend when everybody leaves , we walk away from problems , we walk hand in hand with joy , we try and walk in some one else's shoes , walking is what we do throughout the life..!

Walk , walk , walk we all walk , we all walk towards the end of life, knowing each day we through takes us a day closer to death but yet we walk . We walk because everything around us seems to be walking. , all walking in pace to that of a clock's tick. These days we walk faster than the speed of sound , not looking here and there , not looking for anybody , just in a hurry to end up the race of life..!

But we should,  take a break  sit for a while , forget about the joy of walking , forget about winning the race of life because the reward ain't great anyway- death! We shall rest and seek joy and pleasure , in the world which shows the facets of the gloomy man and the laughing man at the same time, we shall experience what we always wanted to.When we sit for a while we learn about this journey of life  we learn about ourselves , about everything . So take rest sometimes by forgetting the delight of walking , the price ain't good anyways!

Friends Forever!

Having a million friends , who pretend they love you , who show totally different facets of themselves in front of others are of no use. People go around showing off their popular groups , their popular friends , but do you think there exists any form of emotional bond between those brand conscious people sitting having a hookah and getting themselves trapped in the subconsciousness of the drinks?
according to you..maybe! But according to me..the answer is and will always remain a NO! such people are the stain on the word "friend" .. this word from their mouth sounds like an abuse...you might get all the materialistic happiness you always searched for with them..but the support in your bad times, the pat on the back in success, the hands that wipe those tears, the heart that cries for you, the hug that sets everything alright and their cheering up lets you achieve the most difficult goals in life, they give you memories , the beautiful once - to carry along with you for the rest of your life..they are what I call true friends. Never is it awesome to have a million friends but just those 2-3 who you can't live without! those who matter more than anything..matter more than life..who fill life in you..who teach you..who support you..who carry you..who you ought to respect .. in front of who you can just say anything..!
This post might be boring you, but this is a plain dedication to 3 of my most beautiful friends ever, the ones who understood me..who accepted me , ignoring my faults , who were like my pillar and a spring every time I fell down in life..!
The one, who cares beyond limits, who loves beyond limits, who treated me like a princess, who put back my shattered soul..re-taught me how to smile..and listen to your heart , to laugh like never before.
The second, the taught me how to make fearless memories, with whom I share an ocean of memories and every word we speak just makes us burst out in laughter.
The third, who was there to support me every time something went wrong , he was like a guide book, who just seemed to know everything to make me feel alright, someone who taught me not to think so much ( though I can never learn this) , he was the one who was awake at 12 to support me!
And these are the friends I'm talking about..they mean the life to me..even if I lose one of them I'll lose a huge part of me..they are like my soul mates , friends and family...!
You 3 are the support to my life..the day even one you leave, life will be hopeless, angels like you are few , never let any circumstance stand between us..! if it does, I promise it to conquer it for you and be by your side until my last breathe.

Small things, Big lessons!

Autumn leaf! Yes I compared it to the human life. Yet a another big thing..but sometimes, smaller things in the world teach you the greatest lessons of life..!
In the lap of nature, from somewhere these two single strands of thread had been departed from their bearer ( the cloth they were woven into) , flying high as if they had high expectations and dreams, blowing with breeze as if they were just going through life, No excitement, no fun..Simply dragging through life. When the breeze just got a little more subtle it looked like they had lost all hopes, all the dreams they had seen were shattering down so were they, it looked like..they were giving up on life  they didn't even try to lift themselves up, even if they did..the struggle was minute and almost invisible..as if they had nothing left..the two threads didn't even look towards each other , if they would have, they could have a companion , maybe a soul mate..But something or maybe some invisible power was destroying them , ruining everything..every dream..every idea..simply EVERYTHING!
The waters below were mild in movement, low breeze as if the nature was creating a perfect scenario to give up..the two of them folded as if closed the eyes, unable to see their end, They both fell on the water. They survived,didn't drown! But they weren't backing out! They had decided to give up and so they had to!
The wind and the water started growling as if they were refusing to some fact..with the hustled movement of the waters the two threads came near, unfolded, as if they finally saw each other, the sky which was now dark was illuminated by the strong thunder bolts and lightening..the water as if trying to escape..fastened up..lost control over it and the threads which just shared a glance were gone..far apart..don't know what striked the two..but they started making visible efforts to go towards each other..when they finally did accomplish , they were entwined into one another..like they had known each for ages..they had found their soul mates , the desire to die was extinguished.If they had made these visible efforts to die..they never would have a had a life so thrilling..life with the one you love..dying sometimes is easy..but facing problems , it is indeed worth it.
Life is a series of disappointements and joys..and these two are the facets of the same coin!
If you want joys, you ought to accept sorrows.!
                                                                                                                                                 -Tanvi

The first step was the step Back!

Many books define depression as a prolonged period of sadness but I define it as the period of "renaissance"- which means rebirth..Rebirth of the soul and mind which concludes in maturity. It shows you the replica of second  life which teaches you to value this journey and then leave it on fate to end it rather than attempting yourself to go against fate and end the journey with brutality and leaving behind the loved once who never wanted to attend your burial.
A person whose depressed loses a lot when he's going through this ruthless stage of life but bitter this period of life the better the future of the person, because he learns so much about life and people in a while..That he is forced to live life with maturity even though his heart may desire the fun life!
The warmth of the body all lost and overshadowed by the coldness,
The vibrant colors which are replaced by the greyness,
The life overshadowed by the numbness.
The wounds that lie on his wrist represent his reckless nature  and how he can bare the physical pain rather than the mental disturbance, The face loses it's glow and shines despair, the heart reflects the loss of something that he dearly possessed. The dead soul that resides within the alive body pleases to let go, heart surrenders to the burden and the brain cripples down to the heaviness.
The only source and hope of light when starts diminishing ( the desire to live) , the meaning of life changes, all the soul then desires is to set itself free from the body and  from the madcap cosmos , The only desire that then resides within is to achieve immortality, to die, to end this journey without the agreement of fate. With every dull day and sleepless night the pain intensifies and the desire deepens. Finally when the heart, the soul, the mind and the body decide to quit mutually they stand on the edge of the roof and the eyes giving up to the reflexes shut down, knowing it's the end of "EVERYTHING" the foot gently rises. But something strikes the four(mind,soul,heart and body) the foot steps backwards and not forward. The value of life learned, things gradually change to positive and so does the life..lessons are meaningfully learned and not taken out from the ear right after hearing someone's advice, it's something someone has himself learned and will forever keep this lesson. The day which would have marked the end of a journey on the planet marked a beginning of a new beginning , a beginning which was different from all the other's beginnings , it's first step wasn't a step forward but backward, Sometimes to begin something new it's not compulsory you always have to step forward sometimes a backward step changes a great deal..here it saved a life, somewhere it may save you wrong decisions..Just give it a thought!

Respect me, and God will respect thee..!

"I'm a human too,
Just like you,
Respect me,
And god will respect thee."
In the era where the society is developing and the talks about equality are at the pinnacle, we need equal opportunities for women, equal places in society as men and free competition. Women in the all fields are in neck to neck competition with men, the latest and one of the most appropriate example is from our own homeland-India. Where the people in cities of Punjab and Haryana have an orthodox thinking and the cities are infamous for honor killings , female foeticide  which is leading to the skewed sex ratio, these cities are generally known as the cities which downplay the role of women in the society but recently in the Common Wealth Games..10 women athletes from these cities have won medals. This arose a question  of development in the minds of the men of these regions.
The country alone cannot develop when the minds of the people don't think big. We need to get out of our literal minds, we need to set free our minds to let it illuminate, we need to abandon our orthodox nature to the developing society  and when we have got so law oriented then why are we still practicing "sati"? Why are we still in favor of dowry? why are the women still not free from the "atyachaar" against them? This nature has still changed in the urban areas but what about the 72% rural ares in the nation?
DEVELOPMENT OF THE NATION IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT FOR THE WOMEN AS COMPARED TO ROLE OF WOMEN IN DEVELOPMENT.
development because it increases the literacy rate and the quality and quantity of education so as to stop the women "atyaachar" and women when start working with competition to men, it only increases the the assets of the country and and hence leads development in the work force, economy , GDP and several other areas. Women are a crucial part of the nation which DO NOT prove to be a disgrace to the society but only as valuable as men when it comes to getting involved in development. Along with pressure from the outer world a woman manages to be a mother and a guide to her child a daughter to her mother, with a sense of duty and a dearly sister providing a shoulder .
So, lets take an oath to drape the diligent and the graceful in the cloth weaved and embroidered from respect!
                                                                                                                                                           -Tanvi